Need
by movieholic
Summary: Crossing the line just doesn't seem to be enough. Some people just need more.
1. Bar

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, Dick Wolf does... lucky bastard...**

**A/N: An E/O fic. Rated M for double smut, meaning there is some sexual intercourse and it's my first time writing it. So prepare yourself, and feel free to skip over it (Chapter 4) if it makes you uncomfortable. Please read and enjoy! And most importantly, review!

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Detective Elliot Stabler sat alone in a poorly lit bar. He looked tired and disheveled, in his right hand he clutch a small glass of whiskey. With his left hand he scrubbed his chin and jaw; it was slightly rough to his touch due to the five o'clock shadow. Elliot looked as if he hadn't slept in weeks. Elliot downed the whiskey and held up two fingers at the bartender.

Detective Olivia Benson entered the nearly lifeless bar and surveyed the room with her chocolate brown eyes. If she hadn't known Elliot Stabler for nine years, she would have thought the man at the bar nursing a whiskey was a homeless man. Olivia sighed and made her way to the bar.

As she was sitting, Olivia grabbed Elliot's hand and forced him to sit the whiskey down on the bar with a dull thump.

"Hey, Liv, now come on." Elliot protested, his words slightly slurred.

"Elliot, you need to go home now. You have work tomorrow."

Elliot made a lame attempt to drink his whiskey again, but Olivia shut him down. He looked up at her wanting to be angry, but the latest case had his nerves so frayed he could only muster up a miserable, depressed frown that quivered. His eyes were wet with unshed tears, making the bright blue orbs stand out in the dark room.

"I don't ever want to return to that place."

"Yeah, you do. It keeps you going. Now come on, get up El. I'll drive you home."

Elliot pulled himself away and paid for the drinks. He swayed to the door, and finally made it outside. Elliot placed his hands on his knees as he gagged.

"You okay?"

Elliot held up his hand, "Perfect."

Elliot started to walk towards Olivia's car when he made a beeline towards the alley. Olivia was worried until she heard him retching up everything he had probably never had time to eat. Olivia entered the alley and patted his back to soothe him.

"El?"

"Let's go, I'm fine, let's just go." He said, waving it off.

They clambered into Olivia's car. Immediately after they buckled their seatbelts, Elliot rested his head against the cool window.

"Can you take me to the precinct?"

"No, Elliot, you're not spending the night there. You're going home to your family."

"Fine, alright."

Olivia continue to drive, Elliot fogged the window with his deep breathing. He stared out the window at the lights, Olivia looked at him occasionally.

When they reached Elliot's house he nodded and thanked her and nearly fell out of the car in his haste to enter the house. The porch lights went on and Kathy Stabler came out and onto the porch in a bathrobe.

"Elliot? Where were you?"

"I was out."

"You've been drinking. Damn it, El."

Kathy dashed forward and helped Elliot into the house, she waved to Olivia and mouthed thank you. Olivia nodded and drove off into the night. Kathy ushered Elliot upstairs and into their bedroom where Elliot lie down on the bed without removing his clothes, and passed out.

Kathy sighed and shook her head; she removed Elliot's shoes and placed him under the covers. After she made sure he was fine, Kathy checked on her children. Kathy made sure the twins Dickie and Elizabeth were alright before checking on Kathleen. Kathleen was snoring softly on her side. Kathy entered Kathleen's room quietly and peeked into Elliot Jr.'s crib. He was sound asleep, so peaceful and quiet. Kathy smiled and touched his face gently before heading back to her room.

* * *

"_Stay back! Stay back or I'll shoot her! _"

"_I'm a cop, Jake; I'm here to help you. Please put the gun down and talk to me."_

"_I don't wanna talk to you. My dad says cops are pigs."_

"_Please Jake, talk to me. I just want to help and make sure nobody gets hurt."_

_Twelve year old Jake held a gun to his girlfriend's head, who was also twelve. Elliot was directly in front of them, gun raised and pointed at Jake. Olivia was behind him, a few feet off._

"_Nobody can help me, or her. Fuck off!"_

_Jake's eyes darted to Olivia, who took one step towards the boy._

"_Liv, stay back! Jake, put the gun down."_

_Jake shook his head furiously and in the blink of an eye raised the gun from his girlfriend's head to his own and pulled the trigger._

"_No! Jake, no!" Elliot yelled as he ran forward and caught the boy's lifeless body before it hit the ground. Elliot cradled Jake as Olivia helped the girl to a paramedic._

"_Damn it Jake!"_

"Jake!" Elliot screamed, his body covered in sweat as was his hair, which was plastered to his head. Elliot's mouth hung open as he took deep breaths and his blue eyes were widened in shock.

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**To Be Continued…**

**PLEASE REVIEW.**


	2. Nightmare

Chapter 2

Elliot shaved his face with a slightly shaky hand, and nicked himself again. Elliot slammed he razor down and cursed at the mirror. He watched the blood trickle down his neck before he wiped it away and continued shaving. Kathy arrived five minutes later and stood in the doorway.

"Elliot?"

Elliot wiped his face and neck with a towel before tossing it on the sink and brushing pass his wife towards his bed.

"Yeah?"

"What happened last night? You have the children all scared."

Elliot finished dressing and starting to put his shoes on.

"I had a… nightmare is all. It's alright, I'll talk to them."

Kathy nodded and walked over to Elliot who was now trying to tie his tie.

"Let me help, El."

Elliot tried to stop her but to no avail. He sighed and plastered a fake smile on before heading out the door. He kissed all of his children on the head and explained to each one it was just a nightmare he had.

Elliot picked his youngest son up gingerly and cuddled him close to his chest.

"Sorry El, daddy had a bad dream."

Elliot kissed his baby's forehead before putting him back into his crib.

* * *

Olivia Benson looked at her watch every five seconds now, opposed to the every ten seconds she was doing five minutes ago. Elliot was going to be late.

"Benson, where's your partner?" asked Fin.

"No idea Fin." Olivia said, dropping her hand to her side.

Just then Elliot entered the room, aside from a fresh shave and new clothes, he still looked as exhausted as he did the night before.

"Hey, El."

"Hey." He said quickly, trying wrestle his coat off as he sat.

Captain Cragen entered the bullpen from his office after everyone had settled into their desks.

"Stabler, my office now."

Elliot rolled his eyes and allowed his head to hit his desk with a thud. Elliot picked himself up and trudged to Cragen's office.

"Cap?"

"Elliot, close the door and sit please."

Elliot did as he was asked and sat down.

"What is it Cap?"

"I want you to head upstairs and catch a few Z's in the crib before you go anywhere today."

"Now come on Cap-"Elliot said, standing.

"No, Elliot. _Sit_ your ass down."

Elliot clamped his mouth shut and stared above Cragen's head as he continued.

"You had a rough couple of weeks, get some sleep."

"Fine."

Elliot stood and exited the office; he smiled when the door hit the wall with a loud smash as he made his way to the steps. Elliot went up two at a time and entered the crib. As much as he didn't want to though, Elliot fell asleep almost as soon as his head hit the pillow.

_"Jake! No!"_

"Jake!" Elliot screamed again, his eyes darted to the door as he panted heavily. He sat up and shook his sopping wet head. Elliot stood and looked at his watch, it was nearly lunch.

_(How long have I been sleeping)? _He thought as he sat on the edge of the bed and stretched.

"Elliot?" shouted Olivia as she entered the cribs and rushed to his side.

"I'm fine Liv, just a nightmare."

"Scared the hell out of everyone downstairs."

"Sorry." He said mumbling.

"What's going on with you Stabler?"

Elliot looked at her and reached out touching her cheek gently.

"Elliot? What the hell are you doing?"

Elliot shook his head and pulled his hand away.

"Liv, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I have to go, I'll be back tell the Cap thanks for the Z's." Elliot quickly stood and left the room.

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TBC…

REVIEW PLEASE

What's next? You tell me…


	3. Chinese

Chapter 3

Elliot sat in his car in the parking lot of the 16th precinct. Elliot tapped on the steering wheel, just waiting. Finally he saw his target, a beautiful striking figure walking towards his car with a grin on her perfect face, her brown eyes lit up with joy.

_Because of me…_ Thought Elliot, then mentally smacked himself for being so egotistical.

Olivia knocked on his window and he shook his head with a shit eating grin, the Stabler grin. Olivia huffed and tapped on it again waited three seconds then tapped on it again. Elliot rolled the window about half way and stuck his head out.

"May I help you ma'am?"

"Shove it Stabler. Why are you in such a good mood all of a sudden? Not thirty minutes ago you were screaming bloody murder." Olivia said as she started to round the car and enter the passenger side door.

Elliot made a face and looked away childishly.

"Men don't scream Olivia, they yell."

"Riiight… sure Stabler, whatever you say." She said sarcastically.

Elliot started the car and started driving before he and Olivia busted out laughing. Elliot chuckled and wiped a tear from his eye as Olivia sighed.

"Glad you're better El."

"Yeah, me too." Responded Elliot, avoiding her soft gaze.

"Elliot? You're not better are you?" she asked, leaning towards him.

Elliot continued driving aimlessly down the streets of Manhattan, staring straight ahead with a set jaw. Olivia touched his arm and asked, "Elliot? Are you better?"

"Nah, Liv, I'm not really. It's the…that case we had…that boy, Jake…" Elliot shook his head as if he was trying to fend off flies, and continued to avoid her look.

"El, do you want to talk about it? We can get some Chinese and eat up at my place, whadda say?"

Elliot felt a small smile tug at the sides of his mouth, he nodded once and shrugged.

"Why the hell not, Kathy won't miss me. She only has five children to take care of."

Olivia sat back and sighed, she just wanted to help so badly.

"Technically it's four Elliot but hey, if you don't want to it's fine."

Elliot whirled in his seat and looked at her.

"'Technically four' Liv, that's a low blow," Elliot looked away again and after a beat said, "Your place right? Who's buying?"

Olivia shrugged, "Split?"

Elliot nodded.

"Split, sounds fine. Thanks."

* * *

Elliot and Olivia entered the ladder's apartment carrying two heavy bags of Chinese food. Elliot was also carrying red wine, he felt they needed to loosen up tonight. They _did_ have "off" tomorrow.

"Liv?" Elliot motioned to the bottle of wine.

"Umm, coffee table is good."

"Okay." He said as he shrugged his overcoat off and hung it in her closet.

"Dinner is served, get it yourself." Olivia said as she grabbed her full plate and plopped it down on the coffee table.

"Gee thanks there partner." Elliot joked as he grabbed a paper plate himself and piled Chinese food on it.

Elliot made his way over to the couch and coffee table and laughed when he saw Olivia sitting on her floor watching television with her mouth full of food.

Elliot placed his plate on the coffee table and sat on the couch, trying to pull the plastic utensils out if the wrapping.

"You know, there is a comfy couch up here?"

Olivia, without turning around said, "Baby."

Elliot laughed and slithered off the couch to the floor. He shook his head and placed a forkful of rice and chicken into his mouth.

Olivia turned the TV off and looked at him. Elliot continued to chew his big bite, but grinned nevertheless, a cute little boyish grin. His eyes twinkled in the light. Olivia shuddered and scooted closer to him while she tried to get comfier on the floor so that she could eat.

"So, what's on your mind El?"

Elliot looked up from his plate, a smudge of sauce on his cheek. He tried to finish trying quickly so that he could respond but Olivia laughed and shook her head.

"I can wait Elliot."

He smiled again and continued to chew, bobbing his head left to right as he waited to swallow his big portion. Finally he swallowed and sighed, he grinned and said, "What was the question again?"

"You're so simple." Olivia said, nearly giggling like a school girl.

"Wha? Do I have something on my face?" He asked, feigning innocence. His blue eyes wide.

"You're such a mess Stabler." Olivia laughed as she reached out and wiped the smudge off his face gently. Her hand lingered there and he gave her such a cute look, just like when they were eating in with Josie a few months before (another victim of Manhattan that Elliot felt bad about losing) and he asked Olivia, "How is it?" His mouth full of pizza.

Olivia caressed his cheek and he leaned in a little, as well as Olivia. Just as they were about to throw caution to the wind, it flew back in. Olivia withdrew her hand and Elliot's dreamy look disappeared as they realized what would have happened. Elliot stood and held out his hands.

"I'm sorry Olivia, jeez I'm such a fuck up." He started to get upset with himself as he paced in Olivia's apartment.

Olivia shook her head and stood.

"It's not your fault, it was mine, I couldn't help myself. Maybe it's the damn wine. Look we'll just forget about this okay?"

Elliot wanted to do that, but it was too late. He went to far, she went to far…they went to far to be partners again.

"Liv, we can't sweep this under the rug. I-we… I have to go." Elliot stammered as he made way for the closet and grabbed his coat. Elliot thanked Olivia and left her alone in her apartment.

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TBC…

Hmmm, what next? Any ideas or tips guys?

Whether you have any or not, REVIEW please!!


	4. Trouble

Chapter 4

Warning: SMUT warning! My first smut ever, PLEASE review and tell me what you guys think but PLEASE do not be harsh about it. If you dislike it, let me know but don't be ignorant about it.

APOLOGY: Meloni doesn't have the biggest dong, but hey, it's not tiny either ; P

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Elliot found himself back in his car, though this time he was parked on the side of the street right across from his partner's house. Elliot touched his cheek, her fingers still lingered there. Elliot cursed and slammed his fists ion the steering wheel. After some deep breathing, Elliot thanked God that the airbags didn't deploy because he sure as hell didn't to return up there and ask her for a ride home.

_Or do I?_ Thought Elliot.

Elliot rested his forehead against the cool window and breathed heavily still, shaking slightly in anger and lust. He wanted to go up there and fuck her… make love to her. Elliot knew he loved her since the day the met, so did she. Hell everyone in the God damn precinct thought they were together, some of them probably still think that. Elliot sighed and gathered his strength. He started the car and was about to pull away when he decided to turn the ignition off and think about his life so far.

_I love my job, and I love Olivia as my friend and more…everyone seems to know that. But I have five kids and a 'wife.' I'm in a fuckin' load of trouble…_ Then Elliot finally decided he was in enough trouble. Elliot took his keys and pocketed them as he pushed the door opened and ran into Olivia's apartment.

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Olivia felt a tear fall down off her chin, and she wiped it away as she picked up the paper plates and wine glasses. Olivia sighed, but jumped when there was a loud knock at her door.

Olivia straightened herself out and went to answer the door. Olivia opened and Elliot stood there. He held his arms out and let them fall to his side; he stepped forward and grabbed Olivia up in his strong arms before she could protest. Elliot kissed her deeply and passionatly as he kicked the door shut with his foot, carrying Olivia to her bedroom.

Olivia groaned as he nuzzled her neck and he smiled. He held her tightly, and she was finally able to free her arms and allow them to hold his head. She stroked his fuzzy brown hair as he pulled her right leg over his, never breaking their kiss. Elliot continued to nuzzle her neck and he stopped for a second, breathing softly against her as she held him tightly. Elliot pulled away a bit and looked at her, finally looking at her without any restrictions. Her dark, chocolate brown eyes darted back and forth between both of his extraordinary bright blue ones.

Elliot grinned and Olivia let out a soft laugh before Elliot pulled her even closer, breathing in her perfume. Elliot was breathing heavily and pressed his forehead against Olivia's.

"Liv, you know that this isn't going to work. We can't work together again, we-" he was cut off by Olivia's soft lips against his. Elliot groaned as he opened his mouth and allowed Olivia's tongue to clash with his own. Elliot's nose was pressed against her soft cheek, he bent his knees and picked Olivia up again, this time setting her gently on her bed.

When they broke again from their zealous lip-locking, Olivia gazed up into Eliot's eyes and whispered, "We're in so much trouble."

Elliot dipped down and kissed her again before mumbling against her lips, "Don't I know it."

Elliot managed to take his coat off and chuck across the room as Olivia removed her top. Elliot leaned down and bit at her lips, and she allowed him to kiss her as she wrapped her legs around him. Elliot groaned and Olivia smirked.

"Wha?" he asked huskily, gazing at her longingly.

"I love it when my man groans."

Elliot let out a barking laugh and repeated, "Your man," over again. She continued to straddle him above her and Elliot looked up at the ceiling and let out a husky, masculine groan of pleasure, all the while having a Stabler shit-eating grin plastered on his face.

Olivia playfully pinched him and he laughed. He stared at her and she squirmed beneath him, her instinct telling her to be on top. Elliot caressed her cheek and hair and placed kisses on her forehead, chin and rosy pink cheeks as he fell to her side. Olivia took the chance and straddled him from above, Elliot looked up and smiled at her, a bright white dazzling smile.

Olivia unhooked her bra and Elliot's smiled faltered as he stared unsubtly. He reached up and gently caressed her breasts. Olivia threw her head back and moaned softly. She allowed Elliot to continue, his hands strong and rough yet his touch so gentle and loving. Olivia finally stopped him and stood up, she crossed the room and turned the light off and closed the blinds all the way down, leaving the room very dim.

Elliot, at this time, was pulling his shirt off and kicking his shoes to the wall as well as his socks. Olivia watched from where she stood, unbuttoning her jeans. Elliot stood facing away from her, wearing nothing but black briefs that did nothing to hide his hard-on. Olivia stood in nothing but her black panties, knowing they were useless now that she was technically naked.

Olivia finally let out a soft okay when she rid of the panties. Elliot turned slowly and gasped inaudibly, he took a few tentative steps forward and gathered Olivia up in his brawny arms. Elliot kissed her again so passionately and gently a tear escaped from Olivia's eye. Elliot wiped it away and looked for a nod, an okay. Olivia rubbed her thigh against his package and he assumed that meant go on.

They wrapped their legs around each other on the bed that they finally made it to, and Olivia's tug at his briefs caused him to remove of them. Although it was hard to see, Olivia could clearly see his manhood standing straight up, ready for her. Olivia was sure as ready for him by the way the sheets were soaked not only with their sweat.

Olivia wrapped her fingers around him and pulled him closer to her. Elliot groaned, then louder for her pleasure though he needn't fake to much by the way she stroked him firmly and quickly.

Elliot was now on top of her, his arms holding his body up so that he didn't crush her. He was ready, she was too. Elliot grunted as he slipped into her womanhood, and Olivia let out a moan of pure ecstasy. Elliot waited for her to adjust to the "intrusion," although Elliot knew he wasn't huge he was proud of at least an average length and pretty thick member.

Elliot moved started to move in and out slowly, eyes half closed as Olivia's womanhood squeezed him. Elliot moaned and Olivia, clutching the sheets in her fists, reached up and put her hands on his chest and stroked his smooth, muscular pecks.

Elliot started to thrust a bit faster, his eyes till half closed and a sleepy, peaceful look on his face. Olivia couldn't help but reach up and stroke his dreamy face. Elliot opened his mouth and sucked on Olivia's fingers as he continued to plunge deeper into her, picking up speed.

Olivia felt herself ready to orgasm, and her breathing hitched in her throat as she clutched the sheets again. Olivia knew what would really send her over the edge. When she found her voice she asked Elliot gutturally, "El, open your eyes."

Elliot tried, but it was hard; finally he managed to open them and look directly into hers. Both of theirs eyes were dilated and bright with satisfaction, Olivia moaned and had her hardest, longest orgasm ever. It rippled through her body and Elliot groaned as he felt her contract around him. He picked up speed, his legs tensing knowing he was going to blow soon. Elliot looked at Olivia and managed to ask her in a rough, hoarse voice, "Where?"

Olivia grabbed his right hand and kissed it, she looked directly into his eyes and said, "Inside."

Elliot knew the risk, hell he had five children to prove it, but she gave her permission and he didn't think… Elliot came inside of her, long and hard as well. Elliot groaned and stayed inside, thrusting a few more times before slipping out and lying beside her sweaty and panting. Olivia expected him to leave, but instead Elliot wrapped his strapping arms around her body and snuggled as close as he could to her. They were both completely naked on top of her sheets and sound asleep in seconds.

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TBC…

What did you think?

Good, bad? REVIEW, be honest, be nice not "ignant."

Thanks for reading, post more soon.


	5. Breakfast

Chapter 5

With a soft moan, Elliot's eyes fluttered open to reveal nothing but darkness. Elliot sat up quickly and looked around; then he remembered everything. Elliot allowed his chin to hit his chest with a thud as he ran both of his hands through his short, fuzzy hair.

_Fuck… what am I gonna do? I can't work with her again… and now Kathy will leave again, although we aren't married so what does it matter…my kids will probably be pissed at me….again. _ Thought Elliot as he scrubbed his face hard with his palms and looked around the room for Olivia.

Elliot started to worry that Olivia was probably upset about what happened that night and took off. Elliot was about to get up to dress when Olivia entered the room wearing nothing but a thick robe and carrying a tray covered with plates full of eggs, bacon and toast.

Elliot let a barking laugh escape his lips, a happy laugh. Elliot stood and helped Olivia into the bed with the tray; he also wanted to put his briefs back on. Olivia stopped him when he grabbed them and he shrugged.

"Always wanted to eat breakfast in the nude." He joked playfully as he sat on the bed and under the sheets with Olivia who was already devouring the eggs.

Olivia laughed and fed Elliot some bacon, which he took a big chunk out of causing Olivia to laugh again. Elliot grinned devishly as he chewed on the bacon, watching her as she carefully took tiny bites of her toast.

"What?" asked Olivia as she chewed on her toast.

Shaking his head and grinning Elliot responded, "Nothin', you're just so…so beautiful."

Olivia blushed and wiped some butter off of her cheek. Elliot wrapped his arm around her as he grabbed another piece of bacon before taking a long drink of orange juice. Olivia smirked when Elliot dribbled orange juice on his chin.

"You're such a slob Stabler."

"Am not, I'm just… messy sometimes is all." Elliot said, feigning a hurt look.

Olivia hit him in the shoulder and laughed.

Elliot pretended to ponder this, placing a finger on his chin thinking. Elliot nodded then said, "Ah, you're right."

Olivia chuckled and snuggled closer. Suddenly a cell phone rang somewhere in the house. Elliot looked at her and glanced at the door.

"Shit, that might be my phone. Cragen's gonna know… he'll fire us or something, Liv-"

"Elliot, if it's yours answer it. Don't lie but don't tell him the whole truth, get it?

"Yeah, sure."

Elliot made it to the door and grabbed his briefs, tugging them on as he opened her door and made his way to the front of her apartment. He found his phone discarded on her table, wondered how it got there, then answered it.

"Stabler."

"Elliot, find your partner and both of you get your asses down here now."

"What's the problem?"

"Big case, some undercover work is going to be necessary I'm sure."

"No way is Liv going undercover again Cap."

"Elliot, don't fight with me over this. You and Benson are both going under- just get your asses down here now."

"Sure, yeah, be there in twenty."

Elliot snapped his phone shut and ran to the room where Olivia was getting dresses, hair soaking wet. As Elliot grabbed his clothing and dressed he looked at her in awe.

"What?"

"Did you really take a shower that fast?" he asked, tugging his suit pants on.

"I just washed my hair is all; I heard my name and undercover in the same sentence. Elliot, I won't do it okay?"

"Thanks Liv, but this time we're both going under."

* * *

"Alright, this case is top priority, understood?" Cragen shouted to his officers and detectives, who were spread about the room watching him. 

Pointing to one of the many pictures, Cragen explained the case at hand.

"There were at least thirty or so women attacked, beaten and raped in one month. We're going to send in Stabler and Benson undercover to see if our suspect, Ryan Hills, takes the bait and falls for the trap."

Fin raised his hand feebly and said, "I don't get it Cap."

Cragen sighed and scratched his bald head.

"Get what Fin?"

"All of it, what are they doing and why are we doing it?"

"The perps grab woman that are slender, fit, tough, with dark hair and preferably dark eyes. They like woman with smart mouths, and can hold their own. Olivia is that perfect woman."

"Why are we sending in Elliot then?" asked a young officer in the back.

"Elliot is her partner, and he's a jealous type. All the women have husbands or boyfriends that get jealous easily, so I guess the perp gets his jollies off of their jealously."

Elliot seemed to blush at the 'jealous type' remark, but no one took notice. He sat on top of his desk with his arms crossed across his chest tightly, and lips pursed in thought.

"Setting? Identities? What exactly is going on here? We're throwing ourselves at this without much thought." hollered Elliot from his desk.

"We don't have time, Detective. Olivia is going in as bait, Elliot you're playing her husband, you protect her, both of you be smart. We'll have backup in various places and disguises. Hills likes to swim a lot, so we're setting up at his favorite place 'swimming hole' over in Manhatten. Please tell me that's it with the questions?"

Elliot looked around before cockily raising his hand with the Stabler shit-eating grin on his face.

"When do we go in and get our new selves?"

"You get your new selves now, go in tomorrow." With that Cragen turned on his heel and entered his office.

Olivia raised her eyebrows up.

"Tomorrow? That's too soon, I don't know if we can do this." She said, glancing at Elliot as she talked to Munch and Fin.

Elliot sauntered over and said, "We can do it," into her ear as he smiled.

Fin nodded and placed a hand on Elliot's shoulder.

"If you don't protect her Stabler, I'll kick your ass."

Munch laughed and added, "I'll just watch, getting to old to kick anyones ass."

Elliot chuckled, eyes twinkling. Fin took off for his desk when his phone rang and Munch headed off in search of some food. Elliot stood in front of Olivia and placed his hands on her shoulders staring intently into her eyes.

"Liv, we'll be fine I promise."

"Yeah, Stabler. Undercover jobs always go fine." She pushed away from him and sat on her chair at her desk, writing notes aimlessly on paper.

* * *

TBC…

I'm so confused too, don't worry.

Anyway, finals have got me all muddled up so please bear with me.


	6. Identity

Chapter 6:

Johnnie Carlino a.k.a. Elliot Stabler sat the bar of the Asser Levy Rec. Center in lower Manhattan, nursing a Wassail; a non-alcoholic beverage with a lot of lemon, limes, oranges and "spices." Johnnie sipped, grimacing at the bitter-sweet taste, keeping an eye on his surroundings.

Johnnie's wife, Debbie Carlino a.k.a. Olivia Benson, sat beside him also nursing a beverage… a delicious sprite straight up. Johnnie had teased her for getting such a weak drink, but Debbie had good-naturedly hushed him. Johnnie nudged her gently, nodding towards a man entering the building. He was stocky and well built, average height with a shock of brown hair covering his right eye. Johnnie scowled but continued to watch him as the man made his way to the locker rooms.

Debbie leaned in and whispered in Johnnie's ear, "Calm down Elliot."

Johnnie whispered back, "Don't worry, I'm_ very_ calm."

Debbie shook her head as Johnnie grinned ruefully and downed the rest of his Wassail informally. Johnnie stood and brushed his black suit off, and popped his collar before holding his hand out for Debbie, who took it elegantly. The Asser Levy Rec. Center wasn't cheap; it was a place for people with money and lots of it.

Johnnie pulled Debbie close to his chest and hugged her all the way whispering in her ear, "Let's head back and come back in the evening, when he usually chooses his vics."

Debbie nodded and jumped when a voice in her ear started to chirp.

"You looked pretty cozy there Olivia, you too Elliot." Laughed Munch, who was in the security room along with Fin watching the two in the nearly empty bar.

Johnnie, walking towards the exits with his arm wrapped around Debbie protectively responded, "Can it Munch, just playing the part."

Laughter could be heard in their ears, but they both ignored it as they left the building and made way for their rental car.

* * *

After a nice relaxing afternoon, Elliot and Olivia re-entered the swimming pool/bar area as Johnnie and Debbie Carlino. Johnnie made way for the bar to observe as Debbie was motioned over by Ryan Hills, both Debbie and Ryan clad in bathing suits.

Ryan Hills was drying himself with a towel, emerging from the pool not a few seconds before. When he saw Debbie walk in with her tough looking husband, he knew she was the perfect choice for his next night of fun. Ryan smiled his handsome smile and beckoned Debbie over. Debbie walked over, with a flirty smile on her face as her husband made way for the bar.

"Your husband always leaves you for the bar?" asked Ryan, sitting down and motioning for her to do the same.

"Nah, once and awhile he does but it isn't nothing." Responded Debbie, trying to do a New York accent, which was surprisingly very good.

Ryan nodded.

"What do you do, Mrs…?"

"Mrs. Carlino, Debbie Carlino. I'm a campaign manager for various people."

"Sounds tough."

"Very tough, we don't take any bullshit from nobody in this dog eat dog job." Debbie giggled stupidly as Ryan made a big show of laughing.

"Oh man, funny. I like you Mrs. Carlino, you're very funny. Can I order you a drink?"

"Well if it's not to much…"

"Ryan, Ryan Hills and it wouldn't be it's my pleasure."

They shook hands now that they were acquainted and smiled warmly at each other. As Ryan ordered their drinks, Debbie rolled her eyes and glanced at Johnnie was trying to subtly watch them from the bar. Debbie gave him the thumbs up sign and a wink, then turned quickly to look at Ryan who was returning.

"Ordered, be here soon."

"Okay, sounds great."

"Well, Mrs. Carlino-"

"Please call me Deb or Debbie."

"Okay, Deb, call me Ryan. Well, tonight there's going to be a little shin-dig here and I'd love it if your husband and you'd come."

Debbie seemed to ponder this.

"Well, I guess we could… fine, sounds great! I need to go now, Ryan, my husband gets jealous over the smallest things so I better head over there before he notices me talking to ya."

"Alright, okay. Hey, you didn't get your drink."

"Shoot, I'm sorry. I'll pay ya later tonight, if that's okay." Debbie said, standing to leave.

Ryan stood too.

"Nah, nah, you being there is payment enough." He said, grinning.

Debbie wanted to be sick but she plastered a fake smile and thanked him before heading over to the bar. Johnnie looked up and stood.

"How'd it go, 'Deb.'"

"You know how it went, 'Johnnie.' You were listening the whole time." Debbie said laughing at Johnnie's hot headed look.

"Touché." He responded, as they left once more.

* * *

TBC…

I don't know about you, but I'm having fun.

Johnnie Carlino….Elliot Stabler

Debbie Carlino….Olivia Benson

Ryan Hills…. As Ryan Hills.


	7. Insult

Chapter 7:

Elliot splashed some freezing cold water on his face and looked up into the mirror. He looked tired and worn out. Elliot shook his head and splashed some more water on his face. Olivia appeared in the doorway quietly watching. Elliot looked into the mirror once more and caught her reflection; he turned and grinned.

"Are there any cameras in this room?" asked Olivia, hiding a smile.

"Nah, nah." Elliot mocked Ryan causing them both to laugh as they hugged each other tightly. Olivia kissed Elliot on the mouth. When they broke Olivia looked into his blue eyes, him staring into her dark brown ones…both breathing heavily.

"Liv, are you ready for tonight?" he asked, worry etched into every surface of his handsome face.

"I'm ready, El. Don't worry 'bout it." She smiled softly and brushed her lips over his again. Elliot leaned onto the counter as they opened their mouths and kissed passionately. A knock at the front door caused both of them to jump.

"Mr. and Mrs. Carlino? It's Giordano and Johnson." There was a muffled laughter followed by Fin asking, "Why do I gotta be Johnson? Is it 'cause I'm black?"

Elliot busted out laughing as he exited the bathroom and opened the front door to the bickering partners.

"Come inside girls."

Munch and Fin stopped and sent him death glares as they entered the hotel room.

"Nice, place, Johnnie. Very swanky and so very hush hush type."

The three detectives looked at Munch confused.

"L.A. Confidential? Come on guys stick with it." He shook his head, thinking it was useless as he sat down on the bed. Fin made his way to a chair.

Elliot threw a glance at Olivia and re-entered the bathroom to finish getting ready as Olivia sat next to Munch.

"What's taking so long anyway?" asked Fin, impatiently.

"Stabler has to do his hair, isn't that right Elliot?" shouted Munch where he earned a, "Bug off, Munch."

The trio laughed and settled down again to wait for Elliot. Five minutes later Elliot emerged from the bathroom, wearing very comfy jeans with a black cashmere sweater that made his blue eyes stand out. Olivia shuddered, he was so sexy looking. They even had him wear a diamond earring on his left ear. Elliot was an angel sent from God.

"Wow, you're a sexy stud muffin there Stabler." Remarked Munch sarcastically.

"You're jealous Giordano, let's go." Elliot laughed as Munch hit him on the shoulder.

* * *

Elliot and Olivia, acting like their alter egos, stood with drinks in hand greeted by many people who were also early for the party…mostly women came over and introduced themselves to 'Johnnie,' who grinned and greeted them all then introduced them to his wife.

Elliot saw Ryan enter the side door, and he prodded Olivia lightly who turned and waved to Ryan when he caught her eye. Elliot saw this and pulled Olivia with him towards the bar, pretending to be angry with her.

"Ouch El, watch it." She murmured in his ear when they arrived at the bar.

"Sorry, Liv." He whispered back, ordering two sprites, straight of course.

Olivia leaned against the bar and surveyed the room, drinking her sprite periodically. Elliot did the same, although he tried not to look at the crowd too much for fear of being to suspicious. Ryan waved again to Olivia, waving her over to the locker rooms.

Olivia whispered something to Elliot then walked off to meet Ryan at the locker room door. Ryan smiled sweetly and gently pushed her inside. He shut the door behind them, the noise along with it.

"So, Mr. Hills, quite a nice party you have going so far."

"Why thanks Debbie, are you enjoying yourself?" he asked, advancing towards her.

Olivia looked away, playing the shy part, until he had backed her onto the nearest wooden bench. Olivia fell onto it with a huff and before she could stop him, Ryan started to kiss her hard. Olivia struggled then tried to remain calm about it.

At this time Elliot was finishing his sprite. Elliot glanced at the locker room doors, wanting to go in and bust him so badly. Elliot remained where he was though, shifting back and forth on his feet as he ordered another sprite.

A large man sat next to where Elliot was standing and ordered a beer. He had thick black hair and a large nose, with a scar running along his cheek to his chin. Elliot smiled and nodded and turned away. The man took a swing of his beer before turning towards Elliot.

"You new?" he asked, in a thick New York accent.

"Yeah, name's Johnnie Carlino." Elliot offered his hand to the big man.

"Family?" the big man asked, shaking his hand.

"Huh?"

"You part of any family?"

"Isn't everybody?"

The man laughed and clapped Elliot on the back hard.

"I mean 'family' family, capice?" his large hand resting on Elliot's muscular shoulder.

"Oh, ah… no, no family of that sort. I'm sorry; I didn't catch your name."

"'Cause I didn't say it, it's Anthony Cardone." The man was smiling, but it wasn't friendly as his grip tightened on Elliot's shoulder.

The man stood and pulled Elliot with him, Elliot starting to get pissed instead of scared.

"Do you mind? Where the hell are we going?"

The man was quiet, steering Elliot into another room. They quickly left this room and entered another, where three other men were waiting. The men stood and grabbed Elliot's arms and nearly dragged him out of the room as they exited this one too. They exited the building and this time really dragged Elliot to behind the immense building, where the outdoor pool was located.

It was dark outside, aside from the lights in the pool casting an eerie baby blue glow across the men. The men threw Elliot to a lawn chair and proceeded to tie him down. Elliot struggled and stopped himself from shouting for help.

* * *

Olivia was starting to worry. Ryan was all over her, and was getting very violent and rough when he tried to tear off her shirt. Olivia pushed him away and Ryan whirled around and slapped her hard. Olivia choked on a scream and pushed him away again.

"Ryan stop! My husband-"

"What? My friends are taking care of him pig."

Olivia's eyes got wide. Did he know she was a cop or did he just call her a pig on random? Ryan sneered and bruised her lips with another forceful kiss.

"Where's Johnnie at? Where's Johnnie, Ryan? I don't want to do this."

"Knock it off, bull."

Olivia's eyes widen once more. Was he calling her random animal names?

"You think I'm stupid? You're a God damn cop. What exactly are you? A C.O.? A police officer? With the fuckin' Mounties?"

Olivia was thrown against a locker, her shirt ripped and her lip busted from the painful kisses.

"Detective Olivia Benson, Manhattan Special Victims Unit. Mind if I ask how you knew?"

"Besides the fact that you and your boy toy look like fuckin' cops? Your friend allowed my little nephew to kill himself. Remember Jake? Your friend didn't do dick to help Jake… he let him shoot himself."

* * *

TBC…

By the way, language warning (it's a _tad_ late I know…)

Hope you're enjoying this, I am! Even I can't wait to see what happens next, lol.


	8. Static

Chapter 8:

After tying Elliot down, Anthony delivered a blow so hard into Elliot's face everyone was sure that he'd still be feeling it months from now. By this time Elliot was trying to free his wrist so that he could call in for help. Anthony and his 'thugs' proceeded to land some blunt blows to Elliot's chest and stomach while Anthony ripped the piece off of Elliot's wrist.

Munch and Fin, unaware of any problems, jumped when their ears were filled with static. They waited for the tech man to tell them what went wrong.

"Somebody must've smashed it or something." He said shrugging.

Munch and Fin glanced at the camera and realized that Elliot and Olivia were no longer there.

"Whose piece was it?" asked Fin, starting to get worried.

The tech looked over his shoulder at the two detectives and stated, "Stabler's."

Munch and Fin cast each other quick looks of matching concern then Munch tapped the tech on the shoulder and asked, "Can you by any chance enhance the sound on Benson's piece?"

"Sure, no problem." The young tech typed in a few things quickly, then turned the volume up some.

At first there was nothing, but when some muffled sounds were heard all three strained their ears towards the speaker.

"Turn it up some more." Munch demanded, leaning in very close.

Finally, shuffling and clear shouts from Olivia could be heard. Munch and Fin jumped up and exited the room, running towards the nearest exit. Taking the steps as many as they could at a time, Fin and Munch finally arrived at the bottom panting heavily and guns pulled out at the ready.

Olivia managed to push Ryan away and twist his arm behind his back, while Munch entered the locker room by mistake. He did a double take and rushed over to help her. As they arrested Ryan, Olivia gave Munch a mean look.

"What?"

"Where the Hell were you guys? And where's Elliot?" she asked angrily, shoving Ryan in front of her and out of the locker room.

"Fin's looking for him."

Fin peered around the corner and darted across the room when he realized it was empty. He double checked, then entered another room, similar to his last. He noted that there was a couch, but nothing more to hide behind. Fin jumped when Munch's voice invaded his ear.

"Anything yet Fin?" he asked breathless.

"No I don't have any- wait I hear something."

"What?"

Fin paused at listened intently behind the door. There were much muffled sounds, groans or something. Fin opened the door and replied back, "I'm heading outside to the back, send backup."

"On their way." He responded.

Fin continued to the back where the sounds were getting louder. They sounded like bone hitting bone and when Fin finally entered the pool area, he realized that it was indeed bone 'n bone contact.

Fin didn't want to jump al the men at once, but when he saw Elliot Stabler tied to a chair and being beaten senseless helplessly, Fin intervened.

"Freeze, police!" he shouted as he jumped out and trained his gun on the biggest of them.

The men looked at one another then all of a sudden three men rushed at Fin with weapons while the others effortlessly picked up the chair Stabler was tied to and threw him into the pool. Fin, being surrounded by these men shouted for help then disarmed one man by shooting him in the shoulder.

Elliot struggled underneath the freezing water, his cheeks puffed out as he held his breath in…bubbles surfaced the top of the pool, skimming it. Fin shouted again, and was finally answered when at least seven other officers appeared and took the men down.

Elliot's movement started to reduce, becoming slower and slower, his eyes starting to droop. Fin handed his gun to an officer and dove into the pool alongside two other men. They proceeded to somehow manage to pull Elliot and chair to the surface where many hands pulled him up and out. By this time Olivia and Munch had arrived and Olivia was doing whatever she could to reach her partner, who was no longer breathing.

"He's not breathing, starting CPR! Call a bus!" shouted an officer who had pulled Elliot out.

They managed to untie him quickly and rest him on the ground, Olivia started CPR. She felt tears stinging her eyes as she continued, praying an ambulance would arrive soon.

After ten minutes, Elliot's eyes fluttered open and he coughed up water. While they helped him sit up, Olivia rubbed his back and whispered to him as he continued to cough. Elliot managed to smile at something Olivia said and he shivered in the cold night air.

The bus had arrived, and as Elliot and Olivia entered the ambulance, Elliot whispered back, "I love you too." They grinned ruefully at each other as they felt the electricity and closeness in each others presence. The ambulance pulled slowly away from the building, Elliot clutching Olivia's hand in his own soaked one, not caring if the others saw.

* * *

TBC…

Sorry for the long wait…

Thanks for reading so far and the reviews keep 'em coming.

By the way, I just saw A Beautiful Mind

If you have yet to see it, go out and rent it. It's a beautiful and great movie.


	9. Question

**A/N: Sorry for this half-assed chapter. I wasn't planning on cont'ing this story, but since I kept getting "hints," I decided to add a few more chapters. Here's one so far, please don't expect another one so soon...I've been in a writer's slump.**

* * *

After what seemed like hours, which it probably was seeing as it was early the next morning, Olivia found herself clutching the hand of her partner as he slept. She yawned and managed to loosen Elliot's tight grip on her so that she could brush away a stray tendril of brunette hair away from her face.

After a quick glance at her watch, Olivia yawned once more and stood to stretch, sure Elliot wouldn't mind if she left him for a quick cup of coffee. Before she could make her way towards the door of Elliot's hospital room, Cragen had entered with a grim expression on his face.

Olivia took a quick step forward, quickly concerned. "Cap? What's wrong?"

Cragen looked over his shoulder and back towards his detective, "Kathy's here with the kids, they want to see him."

Olivia felt the tension from her shoulders drift away as a soft smile settled on her face, "God, Don, you scared me," she shrugged and waved to the sleeping form on the hospital cot, "Sure they can see him, they don't need to ask that twice."

Cragen didn't move as Olivia tried to brush by him. She took a step back and furrowed her eyebrows, "What's going on?"

The older man sighed and looked at Elliot, avoiding Olivia's piercing gaze. "We know that you too crossed over the professional boundary and into a personal one…and you know that can't be allowed for obvious reasons."

Olivia's body slumped up against the doorframe, and she closed her eyes as she asked softly, "Does Kathy know?"

Don shook his head and sighed, "Not officially. But I'm sure everyone knew from the start." It was quiet, except for the soft beeping of Elliot's heart monitor, until Don asked, "Did you two…?"

Olivia wanted to be disgusted by the question, but she couldn't deny it. She couldn't lie to Cragen and the force. She nodded quietly before cursing, "I'm such an idiot…he's married and has kids…we're partners…we didn't…we didn't use…"

Don drew a deep breath before placing a hand on Olivia's shoulder for comfort. "We'll talk later okay?"

Olivia nodded once more before exiting the room, leaving Cragen to watch Elliot for a few moments longer. With one last suffering sigh, he too left the room.

* * *

Elliot awoke to find his wife's wedding ring on his nightstand, and a remorseful looking Olivia at the end of his bed. He pressed his head into the pillow, trying to avoid Olivia's pitying, brown gaze.

"El, I'm so sorry." She whispered; her knuckles white from clutching the bed's railing so hard. She shook her head and tried to stop the tears from coming.

"It was…" Elliot trailed off, his voice hoarse and his cheekbone searing with pain, "Unavoidable," he grunted.

Olivia shook her head, "It wasn't. I shouldn't have led you on…we shouldn't have…" she stopped and tried again, "We're adults. We shouldn't have done any of this. We went too far, and I'm afraid of what's going to happen next Elliot…I'm truly afraid."

Elliot was beginning to wonder if she meant something other than their affair and his looming divorce. He struggled to pull his head up from the pillow as he questioned, "Are we talking about the same thing, here, Liv?"

Olivia shrugged half-heartedly, "Somewhat." She drew a deep breath, "We _shouldn't_ have. I'm-"

"Son of bitch," Elliot breathed, closing his eyes and throwing his head back, "You're sure? Tests and everything?"

Olivia bit her bottom lip and nodded slowly, "Yeah, I'm pretty damn sure, El."

Olivia ambled to his bedside and brushed her lips against his temple. She leaned down and whispered, "You're a daddy…again."

Elliot's face contorted into one of confusion and happiness. He knew it was risky doing what he did, and with his track record of five kids he should have known a lot better. He sighed, his head swimming.

"Liv, I'm happy...I am…but? Six kids…divorce…this job and our partnership…what are we going to do now?"

Olivia shook her head, "When you figure it out, tell me Stabler, because I have no clue."


	10. Swearing

Elliot stared at his hands as the nurses ran simple, last minute checkups on him. His mind wandered elsewhere, as the nurses ran about him like headless chickens, completely oblivious of his immediate surroundings.

Olivia Benson was pregnant, with his child…his sixth child…Olivia…his partner…Christ.

Elliot heaved a suffering sigh, and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling, as if he was praying to his Savior above. Elliot shook his head and resumed his sightless staring at his hands.

Finally he was free to leave. He began to pull a shirt over his head carefully, his body tender and sore in various spots. He hissed in pain, jumping slightly when a voice called out:

"Alright, Stabler?"

Elliot's eyes snapped up to meet his boss's. Elliot's mouth moved, but he found himself at a loss of words. The elder man raised a hand as if to stop him from speaking anyway as he stepped into the hospital room and shut the door behind him.

Elliot sat still, arms still caught in the shirt mid-air. Cragen waved at his frozen posture and continued, "You can put that on you know."

Cragen waited patiently as Elliot finished his task, then took a step closer towards his detective. He drew a hesitant breath before placing his hands in the pockets of his tan trench coat. Once more he drew another breath, this time throwing out there with a shaky laugh, "Man I could use a drink right now."

Elliot cast him a half-smile for his benefit, feeling uneasy. Finally Elliot's working mouth produced some coherent words, "C…Cap?"

Cragen's head bounced up to meet Elliot's eyes, feeling slightly relieved that the other man had something to say…because he had no idea.

Elliot looked away and met his superior's eyes once more, "You know don't you?"

They both knew he didn't need to clarify, but Elliot plowed on anyway. "About Liv and me…?"

Cragen was honest, as always. He shrugged casually and responded, "No, I didn't at first, to tell you the truth. I mean- I suspected, hell," he offered a small chuckle, "We all did. But knowing that's its official…that causes some problems."

Elliot nodded. "Yeah…problems," he echoed, thinking back to his newest obstacle…Olivia's pregnancy.

Cragen scratched his bald head, "Look, Stabler, I'm not sure how to handle this."

"Yeah…" Elliot breathed, his eyes once more trailing to his hands.

"Have you spoken to Kathy yet?"

Elliot's head snapped up, an unknown feeling in his chest. Was it anger? Annoyance?

"Guilt," Elliot muttered, ignoring Cragen's perplexed expression.

"What was that?"

Elliot shook his head, "Sort of…I, I…" Elliot exhaled noisily as he ran hand over his thinning brown hair. "We talked, sure. Was it of any help or importance? No. It never is…we simply don't love each other anymore. No animosity, no hate, just nothing," Elliot shrugged indifferently.

"Divorce?"

Elliot nodded, "Yeah…we'll settle custody issues later…" he trailed off, and Cragen left the topic. His children were always a tender subject.

"And, Olivia? What happens now?" Cragen questioned, perching himself next to Stabler.

Elliot ran both hands over his hair and clasped his face. He shook his head and allowed them to drop to his lap. "I have no clue, Don, absolutely no clue."

Cragen looked away and back, "You know that someone has to transfer…or you two have to switch partners…"

Elliot nodded solemnly, "Yes."

Cragen clasped a hand on Elliot's shoulder in a fatherly manner. "You'll work whatever is in your head out, Elliot…and you should talk to Olivia…"

Elliot nodded once more, "Yeah, will do Cap…"

Cragen squeezed Elliot's shoulder and left the room, leaving Elliot in an uncomfortable silence alone. After shifting back and forth, Elliot did what he hasn't done since he was a _very_ young child...he swore to God.

"Jesus fuckin' Christ..."


	11. News

Elliot swiped a grease covered hand across his forehead, forgoing the thought of leaving a dark streak on his skin. He paused and placed his hands on his hips, his blue eyes roaming in his new apartment. While counting and recounting the tattered boxes he brought up, he grabbed the back of his neck and teased the tense knot he found. He wiped his sweaty hands on his track pants before scrubbing them over his face once more.

He had finally moved out. Kathy and he were officially divorced. He worried his lower lip with his teeth, squinting his eyes in deep concentration. A soft knock at the doorway of his apartment made him look over his shoulder quickly.

Olivia poked her head in and leaned against the door casually. She pointed at his open door, "You shouldn't leave this open, you know that right?"

Elliot cast her a wry smile as he turned his body to face her completely. "Yeah, I was just..." he trailed off, he looked around at his bare apartment.

"Unloading?" she finished, eying his multiple boxes. They were placed in every corner of the room, stacked upon one another in crazy jumbles. That was when she realized how small the apartment was, and that the size of the room made it seem as though he had more boxes than he really did.

Elliot nodded and licked his lower lip. "I don't own much," he claimed, following her observant gaze. He engulfed his nose in his hand and ran it down, lingering on his nostrils before exhaling loudly and asking, "You want to come in?"

Olivia smiled and entered further. She closed the door carefully, making sure that Elliot was watching her as she did so, in order to make a point. He smirked and shook his head as he padded a few feet to the left, into what Olivia assumed was the kitchen.

"Beer?" he called out, the sound of a fridge opening echoing loudly. Before she could answer, she heard the clinking sounds of beer bottles clashing against one another as he pulled them from the refrigerator.

"Sure," she grinned, stepping forward carefully. She placed her hands into her jacket, as she took a closer look at the unfurnished apartment room.

Elliot came out and paused as he watched her. When she caught him looking, she smiled gratefully and took the offered beer from his outstretched hand. It was already uncapped."Thanks," she said before taking a sip of the chilled beverage.

Elliot bit his bottom lip before taking a sip of his own. He stepped around her carefully, both tensing up when the heat of the other was felt. She watched as he continued past and disappeared around a corner she did not notice before. The white walls blended within one another, looking as if there were only one massive white wall.

Olivia grimaced and shook her head, "You need to get some color in here."

"I know," he called back from wherever he disappeared too. He came back, dragging a new lawn chair behind him. She watched him carefully, hardly able to see the nearly invisble bruises that marred his face not too many weeks ago. He placed the chair in the center of the room and motioned to it with his beer, "Go ahead, take a seat."

Olivia moved towards it, looking around for another as she did so. "Where's yours?" she asked, sinking down with a soft sigh.

Elliot shrug, "Kathy has it."

She gave him a puzzled look, urging for him to explain further. "Well, we hav-had," he corrected himself quickly. "We had two lawn chairs, for the kid's sporting games."

"But this looks brand new," she claimed, resting her elbows on the white, plastic arms. A hurt look passed over Elliot's face as he responded, "It's because I was never at any of the games."

Olivia looked up quickly, guilt etched on her face as she noted the sorrow on his. "I'm sorry, El. I didn't mean to-"

Elliot raised a hand to stop her, "Don't worry, it was my fault." He took a long sip from the beer he clutched tightly. "You should see Kathy's, it's been used so many times, that I was afraid she would fall through the next time she sat in it."

"Elliot..." Olivia exhaled the name, her head tilted to the side as she studied the man. She watched him carefully. He gave her a sad smile, a tired one. She could see every case, every rape, every homicide, every molestation etched into his ruggedly handsome face. He took another long pull on the neck of his beer, swishing the alcohol in his mouth till it became warm.

Suddenly a panicked look came across his face, "Oh God, Liv! You're pregnant, you can't drink that!" He made a move to take it away from her, but the devastated look that crossed over her face made him falter. He took a step back, "Oh...Oh Liv, no. No."

Elliot fell to his knees slowly and placed his head into her lap, pressing his ear against her stomach. He felt her warm tears splash on his exposed neck, and her murmuring apologies. He look ed up sharply. "What did you say? Did you apologize to me?" He lifted her ducked chin with a finger, forcing her deep brown eyes to meet his sharp blue ones. "Don't you dare apologize to me for this," he nearly growled. He moved his head to maintain eye contact as she tried to look away. "Don't you dare, Olivia Benson. It's not your fault."

He gently grabbed her neck and pulled down into an awkward hug. He ran a hand through her hair as he pressed soft kisses on her temple. Elliot pressed his forehead against hers, closing his eyes as he savored her vanilla scent. He rubbed her cheek with his thumb as he whispered, "I'm sorry, Liv, I'm sorry...I should have been there....God, where the hell was I? Huh?" He opened his eyes and pulled away, "Where was I Liv? Why didn't you get me?"

Olivia sniffled, "I was scared. I couldn't call you, Elliot. You have your family, and your divorce...you needed to be with your kids."

All the while, Elliot was shaking his head and pushing himself onto his knees further. "No, Olivia, no. You're my family too. You...you were carrying my child. Our child. You should have called me," he shook his head and bit his bottom lip, "Damn it, you should have called."

Elliot wanted to shake her, and smother her with comforting kisses. He opted for gently pulling her out of the chair and into his secure embrace. They sat on the floor, Olivia cradled in Elliot's lap while crying as he kept his own tears at bay. He continuously stroked her brown hair, whispering into ear that he loved her.

* * *

**TBC...**

**I wasn't planning on continuing, but I am, I guess.  
PLEASE REVIEW, I BEG OF YA.**


	12. Rage

Elliot wished he could claim hours had passed by since he found out the horrible news. But only minutes had past, agonizingly slow, and the news was still fresh in his mind. His unborn child would never be, his unborn child was dead. He found his arms wrapping themselves around Olivia's slender frame in a more secure fashion, his head resting in the crook of her neck as she moved to do the same.

His fingers combed through the soft, dark strands of her hair. He sighed heavily, pulling her as close as he possibly could. Elliot's back and limbs protested to the uncomfortable position on the floor, but he ignored the flares of pain and settled down. Pressing his lips against Olivia's neck, he demanded softly, "Why didn't you call me?"

Olivia pulled away slowly, her eyes trained on the floor. Elliot allowed her to do so this time, wanting the answer more than her eyes contact. "Liv? Answer me. Please."

"El," she breathed, shaking her slowly as a lump formed in her throat. "I can't...I couldn't..."

Elliot shushed her softly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Come on Liv, you can tell me. I need to know. I need to know why you didn't tell me. Or call me. I need to know."

"You were in the middle of a divorce...you needed all the times with your kids you could get..." tears began welling up in her brown eyes once more.

"Olivia," there was no infliction in his tone, so she looked up to see what expression his face held. It was serene, almost curious. His eyes were red-rimmed, although he had not cried. He never did. "Olivia, that is a God awful excuse, if I ever heard one. What's the real answer? I deserve to know, don't you think?"

Olivia swallowed roughly and nodded, taking a deep breath she closed her eyes. "I thought you would be angry," before he could interrupt, she squeezed her eyes shut harder and plowed on, "And I thought you would become reckless with rage. I didn't want to lose you," her eyes flew open and met his startled ones, "I didn't, I couldn't lose you too Elliot. That would have been too much."

Elliot's mouth worked open and closed, too many words on the tip of his tongue had weighed it down. "Liv, I-I..."

A grim smile graced her lips, she leaned forward and pecked his cheek. "I love you Elliot. So much. We're much more than partners, and as cheesy and stupid as this sounds, we're soul mates."

Under any other circumstances, the lost and innocent expression on Elliot's face would have sent Olivia into giggles. But instead, she cupped his cheek and caressed it with her thumb. "I love you."

"Yeah," he breathed, finally. He shook his head slowly, his lips still parted in the form of an unknown word. "I love you too, Livia." She gave him an exhausted smile and nodded, resting her head on his chest as she shifted down further into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and parted his legs, allowing her to rest between them.

"I'm so, so sorry."

The voice was strangled, and hoarse. Olivia looked up sharply, her eyes meeting Elliot's. He opened his mouth once more, stuck in what he wanted to say, as he blinked sluggishly. "Olivia, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there...that you weren't able to call me...that you felt that way...God, Liv, I'm so sorry."

"Elliot," her voice was firm, and clearer than before. "Elliot, you have no reason to be sorry."

"Neither do you," he responded quickly. She looked taken-aback, but made no comment. There was no use in denying that she blamed herself. They both knew each well enough to see through the lies, they both knew victims. He lowered his gaze, his blue eyes darkening a shade as he murmured, "Neither. Do. You."

Olivia nodded wordlessly, before resting her head against his broad chest once more. She relished the warmth he gave off, and pressed closer in order to hear the _thumpthump-_ing of his heart. Olivia wished she could hear the heartbeat of her own child, see the tiny fingers and toes. New tears sprang into her eyes as she nestled as close as she could to Elliot. The water soaked through his thin shirt, and his arm wrapped even more firmly around her shoulders as he began wiping the tears away.

"Ah, Liv..." he whispered.

* * *

**TBC...**

**_Please_ review, I'd really appreciate it. **

**Truly.**


	13. Pizza

**Sorry for the wait, thanks for sticking around.**

* * *

The following morning found Elliot and Olivia entangled in a mass of mismatched comforters, on the floor of Elliot's apartment. He rubbed a hand over his face and yawned widely, looking down at the sleeping form beside him. Unable to tell the time from where he lay, he rolled his head around and attempted to assuage the tension in his neck before standing up carefully. Nearly tripping over the splayed legs of Olivia, he blinked sleepily and made it into his kitchen safely.

Peering into his fridge through blurry eyes, he pushed around a carton of milk and box of leftover pizza until he realized that food was not going to magically appear before him. Grabbing the box of pizza, he tossed it on the counter and popped the box open. Picking up a slice, he inspected with a resigned expression, before taking a large bite and chewing mindlessly.

"That was extremely gross," an exhausted voice claimed behind him. Elliot turned to see Olivia shuffling in, rubbing her eyes with the palm of her hands. He offered her a smile as she picked up a slice herself and ripped off a piece, before popping it in her mouth without so much as looking at it.

"At least I inspected first," he offered, holding up his slice, which was in danger of sliding out of his fingers.

"I know," she said.

They both silently chewed on their own slices, before she asked, "Anything to drink in there?" Elliot quickly looked at his fridge sheepishly, stuffing the food in his mouth into a cheek.

"Uh, some milk. Or tap water, if you prefer." He offered her a helpless shrug at her amused expression. "I haven't done all the obligatory duties of a…uh, what would you call it?"

"Human being?" she laughed, shaking her head. "All you've done is the, what did you call it? 'Obligatory duties…' of a man." Olivia crinkled her nose as she laughed around another piece of the cold food.

They resumed their silence, both glad that they were able to be so comfortable around another, despite all that has happened. Olivia glanced up and decided to voice her happiness on the fact. "Hey El?"

"Huh?" he grumbled around a tough piece of pepperoni.

"Thank you," she watched as his blue eyes clouded in confusion. He pulled the slice of pizza away from his mouth and furrowed his eyebrows.

"For what?" Elliot questioned.

Rather than delve into another depressive conversation, she smiled and shook her head. "Never mind, Elliot. Eat you breakfast before it gets cold."

His eyes lit up in amusement at her joke, although he fought to keep his tone sarcastic. "Ha, ha. Funny." Elliot turned so that his shoulder offered him protection against the flying chunk of pizza Olivia threw at him. "Hey," he scoffed, picking the food off the floor. "There are children starving in Africa, ya know."

"What are you going to do? Give them your cold, leftover pizza?" she laughed when he rolled his eyes. "That's what I thought."

He threw away the pizza chunk in a nearby trash bin, before heaving a sigh. Turning to face her, he looked up from underneath his eyebrows. He looked like someone in trouble, or who about to get in trouble.

"What?"

"Are you…okay? I mean, how're you feeling?" he rubbed the back of his neck.

Olivia expelled her breath and tossed the rest of the pizza she held into the box, placing her hands on the counter. She looked to her right, over her shoulder, where Elliot was awaiting her answer uncomfortably. Drumming her fingers against the countertop, she shook her head.

"No, Elliot. I'm not okay. You and I both know how much I wanted a child…but I guess it was never meant to be." When Elliot began shaking his head in protestation, she held up hand in order to stop him. "I'm not trying some kind of sympathy card, okay? I'm just telling you the truth, which is what we both need."

Elliot paused and nodded, "You're right. We both need to be honest. So I guess I'll be honest and tell you this…I know it's too soon to begin talking about it, or thinking about it…but if you're willing…I would like to, you know…I'd like to try-" He grimaced at his answer, and worked his mouth in search of the right words. "To have a baby. With you."

Believing he had just ruined anything good about that morning, he was surprised and startled when Olivia turned abruptly and threw herself into his arms. Burying her face into his neck, she pressed a kiss against his flesh. "I know what you're trying to say…and I'm glad you said it and not me." She pulled away and locked her arms behind his head and pulled away. "At the risk of sounding extremely cliché again…"

Elliot stifled a small laugh, deeming this a completely inappropriate time to break out into laughter. Focusing his gaze onto her face, he steadied his lips and nodded. "Go on…"

An amused smile perked her lips; "I would love to have a child with you, Elliot. No matter what happens, I'm willing to do that for you-"

"And you? You have to want this too, Olivia, or forg-" he was interrupted by a hand over his mouth. Looking down at the hand, and back at her, he waited.

"Good, you're learning," she muttered. Pulling her hand away she continued. "And me. I want this as much as you do," she said, hoping that she didn't sound presumptuous. "I'm going to have a kid, whether or not it's with you or not, I will have one."

A bemused expression flittered across his face, as he pursed his lips. "Wait…"

Laughing, Olivia gently patted his face and gave him a tight hug. "You're such an idiot, Stabler, you know that?"

"I'm going to say yes, I'm an idiot, and no I didn't know that…because I'm an idiot…" he trailed off, hoping that he answered her correctly.

"You're _are_ learning! There may be hope for all men yet," she whispered into his ear. Nipping it, she scrunched her nose up when he pulled away.

"I uh, need to unpack…and-"

"It takes two to have a kid, El," she reminded him with a sly smile.

Smirking, he nodded. "Oh, I know…" he trailed off, his voice becoming a husky timbre.

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**TBC...**

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	14. Need

**A/N: Couldn't help the NCIS reference, I'm just a huge Mark Harmon fan. **

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After several hours of unpacking and arranging what few things Stabler did have, the two decided on a dinner out through a silent glance at the fridge and smile at one another. Allowing Olivia to shower first, Elliot began a list of what he would need to both buy and complete for the new apartment. Careful consideration over what he could have possibly left out on his growing list ended when he looked up and allowed the pencil he was chewing on to fall out of his mouth.

"Liv," he croaked, his blue eyes widening with every second he scanned her nude body.

Smiling innocently, she slicked back her soaked brunette hair and shrugged. "Couldn't find any towels."

Elliot's mouth worked open and closed until he finally managed to say, "First door, on the left...closet."

Olivia thanked him and sauntered back down the hall, unable to control her laughter when her partner regained his voice and called out, "You're dripping on my new carpet!"

Narrowing his eyes, he muttered under his breath and attempted to control his libido. "She did that on purpose..." Scratching his head, he managed to return to his task until Olivia reappeared down the hall, this time fully dressed.

"You gonna get in, or what?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. Her hair was still damp, the ends being to fluff without her proper hair equipment.

Glancing at the clock, he shrugged. "Yeah, five minutes." When he breezed past her, he growled in her ear, "You did that on purpose."

Stifling another laugh, Olivia perked an eyebrow and playfully pushed him onward. "Hurry up Stabler, I'm hungry."

When she finally heard the door close, she leaned over the kitchen counter and peered at his "list." Grinning, she ran down what Stabler wrote, reading each one out loud. "Number one: take Olivia out to dinner. Number two: Buy orange juice. Number three: Get real chairs and a bed. Number four: Get Olivia pregnant." She couldn't help but laugh at Stabler's well-meaning list. The small piece of paper was covered in his Catholic-trained neat handwriting, any free space full of names. "Baby names," Olivia whispered, ignoring the tears that lined her eyelids.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

Olivia jumped and held a hand to her chest, "Jesus El! You scared me!"

"Sorry," he leaned over and picked up the paper. "Old habits die hard," he added, referring to his Marine training years ago.

"So long as you don't do that on a regular basis..." she warned, pushing the list out of her mind.

Shrugging, Elliot readjusted the towel tied loosely around his waist and claimed, "I'm no Jethro Gibbs."

Olivia laughed and once more pushed him. "Go get dressed! Come on..."

Stalking down the hall where he came from, Elliot purposely said aloud, "What kind of name is Jethro anyway?"

Scrunching her nose, she replied, "A manly name, _Elliot_."

Leaving his bedroom door open as he changed, he called back. "What's wrong with my name?"

"Oh, nothing." She made sure her tone was teasingly sarcastic. Elliot would drive himself crazy trying to figure out what was wrong with his name. "Hurry up."

"I'm ready," he appeared before her, a grin on his face when she flinched in surprise. Scowling, she pulled his hand and dragged him towards the door.

"For that, you're paying."

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As the waiter offered them their selective wines, they answered with a unison "No thanks." None of them wanted to be in an alcoholic induced stupor that night. Breaking off a piece of her bread stick, Olivia watched her partner silently chew on his own, lost in his head.

Popping the piece in her mouth, she chewed slowly and continued her steady gaze. Finally feeling it, Elliot looked up curiously. "What?"

"I love you."

Elliot's chewing slowed until he swallowed the piece of bread roughly. Looking with bright blues, he smiled softly and whispered, "I love you too."

Placing the piece of bread down on her plate, she sheepishly toyed with it. "Can we...?" she drifted off when she looked up and saw that he was signaling the waiter over. Feeling hurt, she watched as Elliot leaned over and winked at her.

"Check please." The waiter protested, claiming they had yet to order their food, but stopped when he caught the rosy-cheeked beauty sitting before them.

"Ah, yes sir. Check coming right up."

"Thank you." Elliot grinned. He reached over and grabbed Olivia's hand gently, caressing it with his thumb as they waited.

As soon as Elliot paid, he quickly but discreetly helped Olivia out of her seat and all but ran towards the exit, her peels of delighted laughter reaching the ears of several dining patrons. When they reached their car, parked in a nearly secluded area for this unconscious purpose, Elliot gently pulled her up against his muscled chest and backed her up until she was in between his warm body and the cool car. "Between a _car_ and a hard place," she whispered, wiggling her hips against his.

"Liv," he breathed, gently capturing her lips with his own, her face cradled in both of his firm hands. He hissed when a twinge of pain from his healing, but slightly sore body was pressed upon non too gently. She murmured an apology against his lips, before reaching up with her own hands and pulling his head down even closer.

Fumbling with the car handle behind her body, Elliot managed to open the door and used all of his will power to pull away and user her inside. Climbing over the driver's seat and into her own, she forced herself to take a calming breath and wait patiently as Elliot jumped in behind her. "Hurry Stabler...you're getting old in your age."

"Unmanly, and now old...you're a keeper Olivia Benson." He smiled teasingly as he sped away from the curb, both hands on the wheel for both of their safety.

"You drive like him too," she whispered, pressing a chaste kiss on his cheek.

"And...?" he was unsure of whether or not that driving like Jethro Gibbs was a good thing. "He's a television character, Liv. Stop obsessing."

"He's a silver-haired fox...will you be?" her tone was low and seductive, her lips against his ear. Reaching up and running her hand over his hair and down his neck, she continued. "Will you be a silver-haired _fox_ Stabler? Big and strong..." she nipped his ear as he drove, using her imagination for what they could be doing, rather than several car-collision death scenarios.

"I'll show you big and strong," he managed to grit out, jealousy over a fictional character being suppressed by his desire to take her to bed.

"You better," she ran a hand over the bulge in his jeans before pulling away completely, Settling in her seat like a good girl.

Finally, to both of their relief, they pulled up to Olivia's apartment complex. To her questioning glance, he muttered, "Bed."

"Ah."

"Yeah," he breathed, leaping out the car and rounding the front towards her side. "Now."

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Elliot jerked awake, blinking his cerulean blues until they adjusted to the darkness. Gathering the familiar surroundings, he deduced he was once again back in Olivia's bedroom...naked. This time, he smiled as he settled back down, she was with him. Pressing a kiss on the top of her head, he readjusted the sheets until they covered them both fully.

He listened to her even breathing, and allowed his eyes to slide close in exhaustion. After the night they had, there would be no getting up early for breakfast, that was for sure. Sighing, he began breathing in and out slowly, until sleep infiltrated his body and allowed him to drift off pleasantly.

"Move aside _Jethro_, it's Elliot's house," he muttered before surrendering completely.

Olivia smirked against his chest as she felt him relax underneath her. Making sure he was fully asleep, she pulled herself away and immediately missed the warmth and firmness of his body. Grabbing his shirt from the fan, where she noticed with amusement was where it must've of landed in their frenzy, she pulled it on and padded out of the room. Reaching the living room, she settled onto the couch and curled her legs underneath her body. Sated and relaxed, she propped her head onto her hand and looked out the window. It had rained, and she traced the patterns of water rivulets on the window pane with her eyes.

"You okay?"

Jumping, Olivia whirled around to see a groggy and naked Elliot rubbing his eyes in her hallway. "El," she sighed. Pushing herself off the couch, she steered him back down the hall and back into the bedroom by his elbow. Pushing him back into bed, she answered, "I'm perfect."

"Sure?" he whispered, his eyes all ready sliding close as he curled into the warm sheets.

"Yeah," she replied quietly, running her dark eyes over his all ready sleeping form. Shaking her head, she gently ran a hand over his prickly hair and retreated back out of the room. She returned to her spot on the couch, once again staring out of the window. She loved to think there, and her thoughts were full of images of a laughing child. With bright blue eyes and dark brown hair.

Wiping away tears that she was surprised to find on her cheeks, she allowed herself to dream. Until she realized that was exactly all this was, a dream. Elliot Stabler had five children, and they were both police officers, he had to be torn between being a father away from home and working the dangerous streets of New York. How would he feel when he had children in two different homes...none of which he would be able to see often due to their hours? Olivia bit her lip and sighed, but she was jealous of what he had. She wanted what he had. She craved it.

Needed it.

Elliot found her early the next morning asleep on the couch, eyes red-rimmed and cheeks puffy. Gently picking her up with a disheartening sigh, he carried her into the bedroom and cradled her until she awoke several hours later. He wanted to be there for her, and voiced that thought in the early rays of sunlight.

"I need to be there...it's just who I am. You have to let me in Liv," he gingerly touched a pink cheek. "You _need_ to let me in."

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**End.**

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